BREAKING! According to Flopping Aces and GOP & the City President Bush has already found a replacement for Scott McClellan as Press Secretary.
(10) Positive stories about Bush increase 145% in his first hour alone.
(9) Five moles weeded out of press corps by Bauer.
(8) Ask a stupid question; get hooked up to the sensory deprivation device.
(7) Podium replaced with bullet-proof barrier with gun ports.
(6) All press conferences last an hour, with all tough questions coming at 45 minutes past the hour.
(5) By the end of a press conference, a minimum of 34 people would have been killed.
(4) “No comment” replaced by “We don’t have time for that question”.
(3) Gary Bauer mistakenly showed up to a press conference, once.
(2) All comments will be yelled.
(1) Blogs4Bauer starts to live-blogs press conferences.
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